


Do you really have to ask?

by ASweatyToothedMadman



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Fluff, Hello I'm back at it again with my gay shit, M/M, this one is cute no sad or anything ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 12:52:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11441268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASweatyToothedMadman/pseuds/ASweatyToothedMadman
Summary: In which Neil comes back early and Todd has a question behind his lips.





	Do you really have to ask?

**Author's Note:**

> I already posted this on my tumblr (of the same name) but I just decided to make myself do a prompt without being asked to because I'm bored now here we are  
> This is the first sorta todd pov i've done i think so feedback yes?

It was a chilly afternoon, trills of birds from outside having died down much earlier than usual. Todd didn’t mind though as it gave him a reason to hide away in his blankets and write without the fear of someone walking in. Neil had gone to auditions anyway and he probably would’t be back till later that evening. While he did enjoy the silence that settled around him, thoughts of Neil whirled through his brain, begging to be freed onto the pages of his notebook. He loved the silence and the ability to be himself with no one to watch and judge. Though, he also wished to hear Neil’s laugh and dimpled grin, his eyes crinkling at the edges as he bounded across the room as Puck. He wished he could pull Neil close, to feel the warmth radiate off him like the ball of light he was, the feel his soft skin, the warmth of his lips and….Todd stopped himself, shutting the notebook and throwing it across the bed with enough force that it landed on the floor. 

“Fuck..” he muttered softly, shrugging himself off the bed and realizing just how long he had been sitting there with the cracks of his joints. Picking up the notebook and turning to walk back to the bed, he heard the pounding of footsteps behind him and then someone calling his name  
Todd turned quickly, eyebrows raised and notebook pulled defensively up to his chest. Leaning against the door, Neil gave his signature grin before walking over to his bed and setting down his bag and script. 

“What’ve you been writing today?” He asked, his back to Todd as he pulled off his coat and threw it onto the bed. Todd hesitated for a second before setting the notebook down lightly on his own bed

“Oh, you know, just an assignment..I um wanted to get ahead so I just decided to do it right now.”   
This got Neil’s attention. The brunette turned quickly to face Todd with his grin once more. Neil knew there was no poetry assignment due in Keating’s class anytime soon though, he decided against bringing it up for Todd’s sake. This didn’t stop him from pressing on though. 

“Can I read it?” he asked, not even trying to hold back his excitement. Todd didn’t look up from where his eyes rested on the ground. 

“No, sorry, it’s not done yet.” he said finally before crawling back onto his bed with the notebook held tight. This wasn’t entirely a lie as Todd hadn’t finished that particular poem but there was no way in hell that he’d ever let Neil read such a thing. Neil only nodded and went to go sit on his seat by the window, looking over his script as he usually did.

Why was he back so early? Maybe rehearsal had been canceled? Todd was both relieved and terrified by this. He had Neil in the room, Neil who lit up the room and made Todd feel as though he could do anything but also Neil who lurked in his dreams late at night, Neil who leaned up against him as Todd wished the thick cloth jackets weren’t between them.

“Can I ask you something?” Todd blurted out without thinking, immediately feeling regret pool in his gut as Neil looked up from his script with eyebrows raised.

“What’s up, Todd?” he questioned, setting the script off to the side and giving the blond the entirety of his attention. Todd wished to turn into a puddle and melt into his sheets, his cheeks lighting up as his mind rushed to save himself from his self induced nightmare. There was no way he could say anything he had been thinking. Neil may be nice and understanding but Todd didn’t know if he could handle never being able to speak with Neil again. 

“Todd?” Neil asked again with a look of concern.

“S-sorry, um, it’s nothing, I forgot the question…”

“You sure?” Neil looked unconvinced, legs shifting off of the heater as if he were about to say something or go in for a hug. 

“You know you can tell me anything?” He said “I won’t judge you or anything.”

Todd smiled but shook his head and looked down. When he looked back up, Neil looked heartbroken which in turn made Todd feel like complete and utter shit. Coughing with a nervous look in his eyes, Todd got up from the bed and started making his way to the door with an excuse on his lips when he felt the warmth of Neil’s hand on his shoulder. 

“Are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”  
Todd froze, spinning on his heel to see Neil with a grin on his face.

“Wh..what?” he stuttered, wondering if he had broken Neil and sent him into a fit of insanity. 

“Todd!” Neil exclaimed “I already know!”

Now Todd really did want to disappear  
“What do you mean? Ne-What do you mean you already know..I-”

“I'm the same way, I understand.” was all Neil said before Todd was pulled into a tight hug, his breath rushing out of him like Niagara Falls. How in the hell had Neil already known and why did he decide that this was the one time he should keep something like that to himself. Or if they were even on the same page.

“Don’t worry, no one here will care if you’re gay and if they do they can go through me!” and there came back the want to be in a puddle on the floor.

“Neil-” 

“And it’s not like anyone would think any different anyways, I mean besides Cameron…but, the rest of the guys will still love you!” Neil continued, resting his head on Todd’s shoulder and looking off with a soft smile on his lips.

Todd pushed him back with a little more force than he was meaning to. Neil’s smile dropped as he stopped talking.

“I-Thank you for that, I mean I appreciate it and all but, Neil..I-That wasn’t my question. I wasn’t going to tell you that. I-it, fuck, it doesn’t matter I’m sorry..I can deal with it.” Todd stuttered out between huffs of frustration, looking down at the ground as Neil’s dark eyes bore into his soul.

“I’m sorry, Todd, it’s okay…I just thought. You know how they say that gay people can tell if someone else is gay? like you can sense them or something? I really thought I finally had that moment..”

“You’re gay?”

Neil chuckled nervously before looking down 

“Well, I guess you could say I am. It’s okay if you don’t want to be friends anymore, I understand.” It seemed as though all of Neil’s confidence had fallen to the floor right then. The brunette sighed, shifting backwards a bit before looking back at Todd. 

“Neil,” Todd began, his heart beating a million miles per hour 

“I was going to tell you…I like you, I mean I really like you in a more than friends kind of way and I didn’t want to tell you-” 

Todd was cut short as Neil sprinted forward and crashed their lips together.


End file.
